Apathy
"...there's a world between us
And I'm too afraid,
Much too afraid to fall for anything
And I'm too afraid, much too afraid to sing"
I hate the choices I've made. Why couldn't I just be greedy and selfish? Perhaps then I would be happier, afterall, that's all that would matter if I were completely selfish.
It still hurts, it will always hurt, atleast a little. Why this happens and why I do this to myself makes me wonder why I ever bother. I'm alone now, and when I'm not alone I'll end up alone. Whether it's my fault or some other cause, it's always the same. Giving up never worked. Pretending like I didn't care didn't work.
People say it will happen when you least expect it. It does. And so do other horrible, horrible things.
My chest feels empty, like it's collapsing in on itself. I wish I could turn back time and stay in the times we were happy. Just you and I. I've ruined those days and I'm afraid I'll never experience time like that again.
Why everything in my life that was once good gets ruined is mystery to me. I've lost people that make me happy. I've lost the marks that made me happy. I'm not longer "above the rest". My dreams of success are dangling in the midst. Perhaps all I have to focus on is my dreams...
"Say goodbye
To the vows you'll take
Say goodbye
To the life you'll make
Say goodbye
To the hearts you'll break..."
1 Comments:
If you were greedy and selfish no one else would ever be happy with you and you would be more unhappy than you are now. Times will be happy again, just wait a bit.
Why would you want to be "above the rest"? You'd be up there alone, only one person can be "above the rest" and face it, no one wants to be with someone who thinks they're better than everyone else. Wouldn't you rather be in the same spot the rest of us are and at least have some friends?
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