How eight words can really make you think...
Muse - Hysteria
[Edit: new poll on the right.]
I didn't realize how long it's been since I've looked at other people's blogs. [a long time being two to three days] For some reason I just felt like writing a heartfelt entry. I've realized reading all these different blogs with all their different styles that what you put into these entries are what really makes a blog interesting or not.
No shit. Yeah, that sounds completely retarded but I can't seem to explain myself at the moment. It's like... hrm. A blog can consist of anything nowadays it seems. A few entries on what you did today can be all good, throw in some "I hate this and that" and for extra measure some good ol' emo posts. Blogs need a good variety.
Anyway, after reading all these blogs I have the urge to write something phenomenal. I have that feeling in my chest wanting to burst with lines upon lines of emotion and thought but nothing comes out. There are so many things that want to be expressed but just don't seem to form in my brain.
My emotional stability has been thrown into loops. I have realized things that I never would have thought of on my own. I have experienced things I've never expected to experience at this time. I have thought things that toss me randomly through this maze of life. In one moment I'm on top of the world, an instant later and by myself in the core of the Earth engulfed in my mind. What is it that I want life to be? What is it that I believe life is? What is it that life has in store for me?
Sometimes I think that I live in life I've built on illusions. I think to myself that I live a storybook life full of colourful and extravagant pieces of art. The words on each line jump off the page with an energy unsurpassed by the energy of life itself. This story is written with a self-made guarantee that everything will turn out perfectly in the end. That everything that happens is happening to the benefit of the main character. At the same time, the main character has an antagonist - himself. Although the story is written in his mind that no matter what happens everything will be alright, he still manages to think different. The antagonist is believed to embrace the sight of truth. That what is happening may just not be for the benefit of one's self. That what may happen in the end will not be all okay. This, all based on the fact that reality is stronger than fantasy. Nothing seems wrong with this. Fantasy is fantasy. Reality is now.
I believe so strongly in something and at the same time deny that I do. I do not show what I believe for I am afraid. If I show myself to the world, the world I exist in will no longer be what I believe it is. I fear the disappointment that the world may, and most likely will entrust me for not giving me what I wholeheartedly believed the world would present. I fear that something so beautiful and perfect can not and will not occur. Because so I dare not tread on certain waters so calm. I look into it like a mirror. I see only what I want to see and not what's behind it.
I wish for the best. I shoot high and fall far. I've forgotten how to aim. I fear that if I try I will ruin it all. Could it be because of my past experience or my vivid imagination engulfs me in fear. I don't want what I want to not come true.
I let life take it's course. I dream and imagine of better things, better situations, a better life. In my dreams I live the world that I love.
Someday those dreams will come true, and someday I'll be able to truly say that I couldn't ask for more. I will stand with confidence in myself knowing that I have everything I need, everything I want, and everything I love.
As of now, they're just pages in a storybook...
[Edit: new poll on the right.]
I didn't realize how long it's been since I've looked at other people's blogs. [a long time being two to three days] For some reason I just felt like writing a heartfelt entry. I've realized reading all these different blogs with all their different styles that what you put into these entries are what really makes a blog interesting or not.
No shit. Yeah, that sounds completely retarded but I can't seem to explain myself at the moment. It's like... hrm. A blog can consist of anything nowadays it seems. A few entries on what you did today can be all good, throw in some "I hate this and that" and for extra measure some good ol' emo posts. Blogs need a good variety.
Anyway, after reading all these blogs I have the urge to write something phenomenal. I have that feeling in my chest wanting to burst with lines upon lines of emotion and thought but nothing comes out. There are so many things that want to be expressed but just don't seem to form in my brain.
My emotional stability has been thrown into loops. I have realized things that I never would have thought of on my own. I have experienced things I've never expected to experience at this time. I have thought things that toss me randomly through this maze of life. In one moment I'm on top of the world, an instant later and by myself in the core of the Earth engulfed in my mind. What is it that I want life to be? What is it that I believe life is? What is it that life has in store for me?
Sometimes I think that I live in life I've built on illusions. I think to myself that I live a storybook life full of colourful and extravagant pieces of art. The words on each line jump off the page with an energy unsurpassed by the energy of life itself. This story is written with a self-made guarantee that everything will turn out perfectly in the end. That everything that happens is happening to the benefit of the main character. At the same time, the main character has an antagonist - himself. Although the story is written in his mind that no matter what happens everything will be alright, he still manages to think different. The antagonist is believed to embrace the sight of truth. That what is happening may just not be for the benefit of one's self. That what may happen in the end will not be all okay. This, all based on the fact that reality is stronger than fantasy. Nothing seems wrong with this. Fantasy is fantasy. Reality is now.
I believe so strongly in something and at the same time deny that I do. I do not show what I believe for I am afraid. If I show myself to the world, the world I exist in will no longer be what I believe it is. I fear the disappointment that the world may, and most likely will entrust me for not giving me what I wholeheartedly believed the world would present. I fear that something so beautiful and perfect can not and will not occur. Because so I dare not tread on certain waters so calm. I look into it like a mirror. I see only what I want to see and not what's behind it.
I wish for the best. I shoot high and fall far. I've forgotten how to aim. I fear that if I try I will ruin it all. Could it be because of my past experience or my vivid imagination engulfs me in fear. I don't want what I want to not come true.
I let life take it's course. I dream and imagine of better things, better situations, a better life. In my dreams I live the world that I love.
Someday those dreams will come true, and someday I'll be able to truly say that I couldn't ask for more. I will stand with confidence in myself knowing that I have everything I need, everything I want, and everything I love.
As of now, they're just pages in a storybook...
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