The mind is a beatiful thing to waste.
So my whole plan of going to sleep by 11PM every night didn't happen last night. I need to keep working on that. This weekend was quite interesting. Well, not really but you can hear about it anyway. Friday I ended up going to bed at 11:30PM and waking at about 10. I stood in the shower for a good 20 minutes, got dressed, and then went and bought toast in the caf. I never buy toast, let alone a breakfast that doesn't consist of one Quaker Chewy Strawberry Yogourt Granola Bar [they don't have the Vanilla. :P] After that I headed to the second floor of the main Village 1 building which was completely empty and I just sat there and read for an hour or so. I ended up falling asleep a bit so I decided to just take a nap right there. I ended up waking up to hearing footsteps on the stairs so I headed back to my room. I played some pool and some foosball later on and headed to a Physics help session that ended up being completely worth going to [for me.] I went to bed that day at about 11 and woke up on Sunday at 8:50. I locked myself in all day and worked with the occassional half hour break for lunch and dinner. Surprisingly I didn't get too much done, but tons more than I ever would. I figure locking myself in my room for a whole day works for me. I used to just go home and do work during high school, why not here?
As much work as I did yesterday, I'm still not closer to where I should be in readings and work as I should be. I just don't seem to have the smarts anymore to be able to not go over something we learned in class again and still be able to know it like I did. Today in class kind of scared me. In almost each class we would go over things that I should know. We woudl go over things that aren't hard at all and my mind would just go blank. I'm worried that I'm not going to do as well as I want to this term either. My goal was over 80% average this term but at the moment it seems so far away. On top of that I hate thinking about my first term marks, which are now official. My total average was a crappy and embarassing 72.769%. If I had gotten that in high school, or any other year for that matter, I would have shot myself a long time ago. :P What's even worse is my plan average is 68.667%. What happened to the other 31.333%? That's a third of everything missing.
My marks frankly disgust me. It sucks knowing that there are so many other people out there that to them everything is a breeze. It doesn't seem right to know that I used to be like that, that I used to be dissapointed if I didn't get 100%. Now I'm happy with anything over 75%, sometimes I'm just happy if I pass. I don't know what I'm doing but it's not working. Either I was inherently smart before and that magic has faded or I was a hard worker and I'm not pulling my weight now. I guess it could be a mix of both... but even so, everyday I just wish I had those smarts once again.
At the moment, I'm at the bottom of the barrel for Optometry. Unless I slap on atleast 15% more onto my plan average, I better start thinking about another profession.
Anyway, enough wasting time here. Time for something productive.
As much work as I did yesterday, I'm still not closer to where I should be in readings and work as I should be. I just don't seem to have the smarts anymore to be able to not go over something we learned in class again and still be able to know it like I did. Today in class kind of scared me. In almost each class we would go over things that I should know. We woudl go over things that aren't hard at all and my mind would just go blank. I'm worried that I'm not going to do as well as I want to this term either. My goal was over 80% average this term but at the moment it seems so far away. On top of that I hate thinking about my first term marks, which are now official. My total average was a crappy and embarassing 72.769%. If I had gotten that in high school, or any other year for that matter, I would have shot myself a long time ago. :P What's even worse is my plan average is 68.667%. What happened to the other 31.333%? That's a third of everything missing.
My marks frankly disgust me. It sucks knowing that there are so many other people out there that to them everything is a breeze. It doesn't seem right to know that I used to be like that, that I used to be dissapointed if I didn't get 100%. Now I'm happy with anything over 75%, sometimes I'm just happy if I pass. I don't know what I'm doing but it's not working. Either I was inherently smart before and that magic has faded or I was a hard worker and I'm not pulling my weight now. I guess it could be a mix of both... but even so, everyday I just wish I had those smarts once again.
At the moment, I'm at the bottom of the barrel for Optometry. Unless I slap on atleast 15% more onto my plan average, I better start thinking about another profession.
Anyway, enough wasting time here. Time for something productive.
1 Comments:
Well Eric, It looks like you know what you gotta do. Put the big boy pants on. Do up the fly. And Giv'r. Don't stress yourself out too much, It sounds like you are over thinking some things. And i'm sure your Scholarly Mojo will return.
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