Just a tad pessimistic right now...
Fuck. I looked at the Optometry Application sheet again and just like before, it got me really depressed. There's a whole sheet where I put every single mark I got in every required class. Frankly I have a lot to be ashamed of. It's one thing that my overall average is sitting exactly on the minimum I need to just apply [therefore meaning not being accepted] to the School of Optometry, and another to have course marks that are horrendous.
Next up is a sheet on Academic Awards/Honours with Distinction. Frankly I have none in my university career. Sure there's high school where I got honours all three years [and one year I don't have any certificate to prove that I achieved it]. Then there's the Non-Academic Awards/Honours with Distinction. I have fuck all. That is unless "Perfect Attendance" counts from High School, but who gives a shit about that.
Paid Work Experience. Well, at the top of the list I'll have Super Drug Mart. Excellent. Now they can see that I worked for a company that only exists in Southern Alberta and has absolutely ZERO relation to my field of study. Under that, Zellers. Even better.
Special Training. None.
Volunteer Work Experience. None, well, except for the one day on campus. Impressive...
Extracurricular Activities. Ha... fuck.
Other. I can't even think of anything that falls under "Other".
This just makes me feel like I've wasted yet another summer. Sure I tried to get a "related field" job but obviously I never got one. I don't seem to have the qualifications for one it seems. I didn't volunteer anywhere. I've done no extra-curricular activties, and frankly I did shitty in school, both semesters. Even after experiencing the hell of first semester I would have thought I would have smartened up. I thought I did but I guess that's the best I could do then.
Second year is going to have to be a whole new story. Frankly I'm just going to stay in my room for eight months and work. I can't stand knowing that I just might not make it...
Second Year:
1. Get on the Dean's Honour's List. Not for just one term, for both terms.
2. Get 80%+ in every course/lab [therefore for sure getting #1].
3. Get decent amounts of sleep.
4. No drinking. [yeah, I said it.]
5. No TV [not a problem, seeing as I don't watch TV.]
Next summer:
1. Volunteer at Foothills Hospital.
2. Try to get a job in a related field, eg. Optical shops.
3. Job shadow an Optometrist.
4. Get CPR training.
I'm scared. No matter how much people say, "Oh you'll do fine." it doesn't help. Unless they can see into the future and know I will do fine, then it's just like asking random strangers how they're doing today. You don't care, it's just polite.
In order for me to "do fine" I have to work my fucking ass off.
That's what I'll do. I'll be the loser, the party pooper, the hermit, the guy that never wants to do anything; I just don't care. I want to succeed and in my mind I'm failing. Infact, to the School of Optometry, I already have failed.
26 days until I'm in Toronto and subsequently Waterloo most likely. 32 days until classes. The rollercoaster has begun it's ascent.
Next up is a sheet on Academic Awards/Honours with Distinction. Frankly I have none in my university career. Sure there's high school where I got honours all three years [and one year I don't have any certificate to prove that I achieved it]. Then there's the Non-Academic Awards/Honours with Distinction. I have fuck all. That is unless "Perfect Attendance" counts from High School, but who gives a shit about that.
Paid Work Experience. Well, at the top of the list I'll have Super Drug Mart. Excellent. Now they can see that I worked for a company that only exists in Southern Alberta and has absolutely ZERO relation to my field of study. Under that, Zellers. Even better.
Special Training. None.
Volunteer Work Experience. None, well, except for the one day on campus. Impressive...
Extracurricular Activities. Ha... fuck.
Other. I can't even think of anything that falls under "Other".
This just makes me feel like I've wasted yet another summer. Sure I tried to get a "related field" job but obviously I never got one. I don't seem to have the qualifications for one it seems. I didn't volunteer anywhere. I've done no extra-curricular activties, and frankly I did shitty in school, both semesters. Even after experiencing the hell of first semester I would have thought I would have smartened up. I thought I did but I guess that's the best I could do then.
Second year is going to have to be a whole new story. Frankly I'm just going to stay in my room for eight months and work. I can't stand knowing that I just might not make it...
Second Year:
1. Get on the Dean's Honour's List. Not for just one term, for both terms.
2. Get 80%+ in every course/lab [therefore for sure getting #1].
3. Get decent amounts of sleep.
4. No drinking. [yeah, I said it.]
5. No TV [not a problem, seeing as I don't watch TV.]
Next summer:
1. Volunteer at Foothills Hospital.
2. Try to get a job in a related field, eg. Optical shops.
3. Job shadow an Optometrist.
4. Get CPR training.
I'm scared. No matter how much people say, "Oh you'll do fine." it doesn't help. Unless they can see into the future and know I will do fine, then it's just like asking random strangers how they're doing today. You don't care, it's just polite.
In order for me to "do fine" I have to work my fucking ass off.
That's what I'll do. I'll be the loser, the party pooper, the hermit, the guy that never wants to do anything; I just don't care. I want to succeed and in my mind I'm failing. Infact, to the School of Optometry, I already have failed.
26 days until I'm in Toronto and subsequently Waterloo most likely. 32 days until classes. The rollercoaster has begun it's ascent.
2 Comments:
I won't tell you "don't worry, it will be fine", but if you stick to your plan, which sounds doable, you will rock. I am rooting for you.
"You'll do fine?"
You know why we say that? Becuase all the time we've known you, Every thing we've watched you go through. We know that you can do it. Mistakes, Fuck ups, and trouble, we've all had it and you have to. That hasn't stopped you yet.
Anyways, GIVE ME A XBOX
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