Close in mind

Every once in awhile, I think of something that's happened, something we've done, and it makes me smile. Literally. Sometimes I even laugh to myself and sometimes I just plain lose my train of thought because of it. It's nice, I can't say that has ever happened to me so much before. I used to sit and think to myself at work when there was nothing to do and it made me sad but now I can't help but smile to myself.

I'm in a pleaseant mood for the time being. It's been a day and I've coped with myself. I keep imagining the future and it worries me because I might be setting myself up for disappointment. At the same time I have some strange flux of confidence that everything will be all right. Normally I force myself to never get my hopes up, but this time I am. I just couldn't live with myself that way before. Hopefully for the time being, it helps me carry on.

Each second ticks by so slowly, the slowest I have ever felt before.