A very Happy Birthday, Smeg

Let's just go by the motto: "What happens at The Roadhouse, stays at The Roadhouse."

The Usual

So, I suppose an update is in order. Mostly work, work, and more work. Got paid on the 21st. $635.62 this time. I'm going to try and take one extra shift every two weeks to get my full 88 hours per paycheck. Anything more and it just gets put onto the next available "non-full" paycheck. No overtime = not worth my time.

Other than that just been hanging out with people, more Nott's. Mike's sister and mother went out of town for a few days so we spent a couple of days playing pool late at his place. We invented Monopoly pool but it still needs some tweaking.

Tonight was a fun night. First of all, I took a 9-5 shift today which is damned early for me so I was friggin' tired. I didn't even notice but I fell asleep and apparently I answered two phone calls. I woke up like an hour after the last one extremely confused not knowing if I dreamt the phone calls or not. I was all kinds of fucked up for a good few minutes until it got sorted out. Then I picked up Mike and headed up to Boston Pizza's to meet with Jeff, German Girl [Kate], Kev, Sarah, and Dickie. People got right drunk, mostly Sarah. Jeff spilled stuff. Dickie molested me.

We then headed to Nott's for free pool and popcorn.Jeff set the Silver Spring's Liquor Store's alarm off by accident when he threw a hacky-sack at the door. He's in jail now. jk. Jeff, Kev and Mike got pitcher drinks. When the lights came on we played some frisbee in the parking lot and hid Dickie's brake fluid in Kev's ass. hahaha [Not literally. But it was fucking funny.] We then headed to Mike's where we ate his cookies and chilled on his steps for a good while. Then we headed home.

Sorry, no emo post tonight.

PS: Schmetterling!

The hat and the jeans are hung up...

So I suppose an update is well deserved. Friday I went to the Stampede again. This time with Sarah, Jeff, Justin, and Sandra where we later on met up with Alex D, Kev and Dan. and even later on saw Shawn, John, Lan, Mike H., and someone I don't know lol but that was only for a short while. Mostly just wandered around, basically at the Stampede to be at the Stampede. Good stuff. Oh, and right before the show we ran into Kirsten M. who was in Calgary for a short while, although she leaves today (19th). I'm glad I got to see her even for a short while.

The highlight was watching Terry Stokes, the hypnotist's Adults Only show in the Maverick's Lounge above the Stampede Casino. Fuck, so funny. I wish I went to his even longer show at Frank Sisson's Silver Dollar Casino tonight.

Let's see, Saturday I... I'm not even sure. Oh right, I worked 11 - 7, went home, took a nap probably, went to Joey's to pick up Mike, then off to Nott's where we played pool.

Sunday I woke up early to go to the Stampede once again with my family. This time my dad's company gave all the employee and their family tickets to see the Rodeo Finals. There was also a BBQ/lunch at the Rotary Club on the grounds which was mmm good. The Rodeo was so awesome. I'd like to go again but be much closer. I also want to see the evening show which has the chuckwagon races and the grandstand show. After that we went and ate at Sakana Grill for Ryan's birthday dinner.

Now I'm back to the work week.

Do
your
arms
ever
feel

empty?

Howdy

So Dan, Jeff, Kevin, and I all bought ourselves black felt cowboy hats for the Stampede. We all pretty much say that for ten days of the year, we wear cowboy hats as Calgarians because it's our duty. And plus with a full time job it's not that bad. About four hours of work and it's paid for. Plus it's just so much more fun.

So Dan, Kev, and I picked up Kate, one of Kevin's co-workers neighbour's cousin or something like that. Either way, she came along, she's a cool person. We headed down, watched the hypnotist a bit, walked the midway, played a few games, rode some rides that Dickie did not want to ride at all. Good ol' bumper cars was always fun though. lol oh yeah, they aren't go karts. haha

At 9:30 we watched Hot Hot Heat play until 11 or so and then like everyone else, headed to the Beer Garden's. After that we tried to get into the Casino but they wouldn't accept Jeff's Firearm's licence because under the Alberta Gaming and Lottory Commission or something they don't accept it as a primary ID. So we didn't want to leave him alone, as much as some of us wanted to gamble lol. So it was about 1:30 by the time we decided to head out, of course not before Jeff and I scarfed down some cotton candy.

Our goal of course was to get to a bar or liquor store before 2AM but it just wasn't doable. So we walked from Dalhousie station to Dickie's apartment where he drove us to Mike's and we played pool, watched Much and just chilled out before we all headed home.

All in all a very excellent and fun day. Now off to get ready for the work week.

F-F-F-Falling

So...

I guess there isn't much to talk about anymore. I work 40+ hours a week at Super Drug Mart, mostly 4-12 so I get up at like 2:30 everyday. Go to work, then either go home or hang out at Jeff's or Nottingham's.

The only thing I have to look forward to anymore is a paycheck. I guess I'm guaranteed 538.64 every week. 24.27 goes towards the Canada Pension Plan, 12.09 to Employment Insurance which I'll get back at the end of the year I suppose. I'm guessing ACCVAC is vacation pay, so I guess that's 24.80 every paycheck. That'll be nice to get back.

Yeah... so... I don't know what to say. Life's taken a big change I suppose. Things just aren't as bright looking; time is slow. Happiness seems to only come from material goods, money. I have fun with friends but it's temporary happiness. I'm lost. I feel like a drone. I don't seem to appreciate anything in life. Atleast not the little things anymore. I used to laugh at things. I used to be able to make myself smile by just thinking things.

I feel like a part of me died. A part of me gave up and left the rest to rot.

Payday

So finally I got paid. A nice $583.64 after taxes. I suppose it'll be nice to see that every two weeks. Now I'm wondering what I can do with this new found money. Of course I'm going to save most of it but I was also thinking of getting my firearms licence. That way I can finally start collecting all the firearms I've wanted to.

The Firearms Saftey Course is $200 by itself and only takes one day to complete. I don't know what I would want as my first firearm but I would want a scoped rifle. I'm leaning towards the Mosin Nagant, preferrably a 91/30PU but they're rare and expensive, atleast for originals. Other Mosin's are easier to come by though. Then of course I was thinking of just getting a new rifle so I would have something I could shoot a lot and not worry about degrading it's "history". Of course, the main reason I want my firearms licence is so I can collect main pieces of warfare.

It sounds strange but I've always wanted to collect things from the WWII era. I've always wanted to collect propaganda posters but those are also expensive, rare, and I would have nowhere to store anything.

Anyway... that's all for now. Two more days of work this week.

Darti likes to party

So after my first Saturday day shift as per my usual 4 - midnights I came home, had some KFC. But first just before I ended my shift, Jamie dropped by and told me that Darti was having a party. I was like, sweet. But I was tired, so I took a two hour nap which I'm glad I did.

Headed on over to Jamie's, watched some Jaws 3 with Jamie's parents and then headed on up to pick up Jeff and Dickie. Jamie told Jocelyn on the way while Jeff picked up some drinks and then off to Darti's place by Market. I must say, what a sweet place and for a deal too.

It was awesome seeing so many people I hadn't seen in forever. So many people were from back in T.B. Riley days, and even Belvedere. Everyone seems to be doing well, school, future plans, jobs.

It was definitely a fun time at Darti's. He always knows how to throw a party.

After that, Jeff, Dickie and I headed up to Denny's. I had a mother huge Lumberjack Breakfast or something. RTFPM [Read The Fucking Pancake Manual]. Good ol' Denny's. The best place for early morning/late night meals. And as always there's some big drunk guy sleeping or some slutty girls that shouldn't be dressing slutty if you know what I mean, drunk kids, kids from grad.

Anyway's, all in all a fun day. Now to get up in four hours for work.

Apathy

"...there's a world between us
And I'm too afraid,
Much too afraid to fall for anything
And I'm too afraid, much too afraid to sing"

I hate the choices I've made. Why couldn't I just be greedy and selfish? Perhaps then I would be happier, afterall, that's all that would matter if I were completely selfish.

It still hurts, it will always hurt, atleast a little. Why this happens and why I do this to myself makes me wonder why I ever bother. I'm alone now, and when I'm not alone I'll end up alone. Whether it's my fault or some other cause, it's always the same. Giving up never worked. Pretending like I didn't care didn't work.

People say it will happen when you least expect it. It does. And so do other horrible, horrible things.

My chest feels empty, like it's collapsing in on itself. I wish I could turn back time and stay in the times we were happy. Just you and I. I've ruined those days and I'm afraid I'll never experience time like that again.

Why everything in my life that was once good gets ruined is mystery to me. I've lost people that make me happy. I've lost the marks that made me happy. I'm not longer "above the rest". My dreams of success are dangling in the midst. Perhaps all I have to focus on is my dreams...

"Say goodbye
To the vows you'll take
Say goodbye
To the life you'll make
Say goodbye
To the hearts you'll break..."