Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

- Barry LePatner

I had an idea for a good title... but I forgot.

So for some reason I've just been really forgetful. Just little things I'll forget and I'll end up having to walk up and down the stairs four or five times [I'm sure it's needed exercise]. I'll find a pencil I totally forgot to put back or something stupid like that.

My biggest one is I can't seem to remember where I put my jacket... The last time I wore it was Wing Night Wednesday. I remember wearing it to Earl's... putting it on the chair and I slightly remember putting it back on when we left. Either that or I'm making it up in my head. I also slightly remember having a jacket when we got to Sarah's but I don't know what I did with it. So it's either at Earl's or at Sarah's. Hopefully at Sarah's but seeing as she's in Alabama, hopefully her parents aren't going camping for too long lol.

Then tonight Justin, Laura, and I hung out at Nott's for a bit. Good times, good talk about food. lol And then I realized I have to work early in the morning. Then I get home and the garage door is open. I go inside and realize I have to drop off the library books.

All these stupid things I'm forgetting... anyways, goodnight. Have a fun cruise, Justin.

Bye, Sarah!

We're not drunk, I swear...

Well, today was Sarah's last day in Calgary so her, Megan, Diana, Vanessa, and I all went to Earls for wings and then spent the last bit of time at Sarah's [although Megan had to go to work :P]. This time Sarah's the first to leave instead of the last.

Hope you had a good last day in Calgary. Have a good trip and remember, everyone's expecting drunken phone calls. :)

Misfortune shows those who are not really friends. - Aristotle

So sometimes you go through life thinking that people are all a certain way to you. Everything's good for awhile and then all of a sudden something changes. What is it that changes? What is it that makes people think differen't of you? Why do people act one way and then another all of a sudden?

Four months of summer and just as I'm about to leave, this falls into my lap. Of all the things in the world, this was the least I had expected, especially from them.

I hate you, you bitches. I hope you burn in hell in a giant pile of shit. I like cheese. and people.

You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?"

- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

It hurts to find out that what you wanted doesn't match what you dreamed it would be.

- Randy K. Milholland

Tell me why do I feel this way, all my life I`ve been standing on the borderline

The Rasmus - Time To Burn


So I woke up today at around four and frankly I don't know what the hell I did. Oh, well, I played Burnout 3 on the XBox from like six to sevenish when I decided to get ready for the formal dinner get together in celebration of Jeff getting into SAIT. It was Jocelyn's idea and a great one at that. I guess this is kinda redundant seeing as Jeff has also posted a much greater and detailed post on today. Read that here.

It just kind of hit me that this may be the last time we ever see Dickie for a long time [well, I still have a few days before I leave when he comes back]. I didn't really realise that tonight may be the last time Sarah and Dan see each other until next summer. Once September rolls around and the rest of us that are leaving, it'll be the same story. Kinda shitty to think about, but at the same time, wish the best for him to be accepted into the Police Academy. Afterall, we all want to hear the story of being pepper-sprayed and tasered.

The end of summers in post-secondary really suck. I mean, sure in High School or earlier you'd be super dissappointed in having your holidays end. Now it just seems like so much more than that. People will begin to leave, to go back to their schooling in other places. People will change a little more and more the longer they're away.

And then we hopefully all come back to the one place we all have in common. We all come back at the one time when we have no school to be bothered by. The one time where we can just sit back and have fun...

While I was thinking about how this might be the last time we see Dan I kind of thought about my situation. I've signed a twelve month contract for the house I will be living in in Waterloo. If I don't find someone to sublet my place or if I find a good job [one that helps me] in Waterloo I won't be coming home for the summer... I can't imagine not coming home for a summer. That's 20 months of being away from home. Of course there is winter break, thankfully.

Funny how I didn't miss home as much first year, and now I miss it while I am home...

Web Logging [yes, actual Blogging.]

So I was bored and playing around with Google and I came across this website:
The University of Waterloo Service Tunnels
I of course find this quite interesting. Students and even my Don [well, she also falls under a student] had heard rumours of tunnels that led all across campus to every building. There's a map of the tunnels that the guy, Matthias Wandel, made. It marks interesting observations such as clear pipes under the biology building, "greenman's" rooms where they stay [the custodians wear green jumpsuits], models and old plans of buildings before they were built, and even a radiation bunker. Looking at the map it brings back the times when I was walking through campus during the winter after a light snowfall and certain parts of the ground would have absolutely no snow. They always were straight, very linear patches of melted snow. Comparing those spots I can see they actually are where the service tunnels were which just makes it more intriguing. At the same time, I also think about when Mat and I would go around with our residence keys and "pick" the locks on the buildings. We never could get the service doors open but now I know where they would have brought us.

I also thought this page, by the same author was interesting:
The mysterious farm on the Univeristy of Waterloo north campus
Basically just about a farm that suddenly disappeared and nothing ever changed in the area for years. Basically just a road was planned to be built, the University had some involvement in it and voila, demolished.

A link on Wandel's site also brought me to an old internet meme, or internet phenomenon [things that get famous by spread through the internet]. First of all, the story is apparently mostly made up and somethings are exaggerated. Basically it's a story of a lady that rides through the "dead zone" in Europe, the area affected by the Chernobyl disaster, on her motorcycle. The photos are real [which is disturbing] but apparently like I said before her story, such as being able to ride through on a motorcycle and having special permissions to go to certain places, are false. Nonetheless a very interesting read: Ghost Town
Note: The link "Elena revisits Chernobyl is mainly the same as the link "beginning" but with some different pictures.

My "favourite" photo is of the Chernobyl reactor that is now covered in the concrete "sarcophagus". Oh and also, apparently you can take a guided tour through the "dead zone" and actually see Chernobyl-4. Apparently you can go through pretty safely, just you can't eat stuff etc. lol

Some more photos by David McMillan of the University of Manitoba here

An interesting topic.

I'm trying to find the reason why I'm giving up this time, not leaving it behind. But it's all right, that's the reason why.

Vanilla Sky - Distance

So Dickie has given me a suggestion to have a new hairstyle by the 31st, when he comes back from Nova Scotia. I've wanted a change for awhile now but frankly there isn't much you can do with my perfectly straight hair. At the moment I've come up with a few ideas but the hair just isn't long enough. Perhaps in two weeks it'll be longer. There's always the time I'll be in Waterloo too, seeing as when I'm at school I don't get my hair cut.

And wasting all your time, on someone who will never care enough

Her Space Holiday - Tech Romance

So today I woke up at 11 and got picked up by Sarah and Megan at around 12. We headed up to Dickie's where thanks to Megan's quick phonework I avoided seeing him stark naked. Headed to McDonald's for lunch and then off to the Telus World of Science! [Formerly the Calgary Science Center] It was awesome. For one thing, I love science, and second, it was just awesome lol. We were the tallest and oldest non-parents there. Checked out some of the exhibits I suppose you could call them, learned lots of information in the bathroom, and then headed to the Discovery Dome to watch Forces of Nature... not the one with Sandra Bullock. Dickie was giddy. He doesn't get to appreciate these things in the Harbour. All in all a good time at the science center.

After that, headed to Sarah's to watch TV until about 6:30ish when Vanessa, Diana, and Jeff arrived. We took a group photo and then headed out to Earls for Wing Night Wednesday except with everyone this time. Good stuff, big tip.

We rented Sin City and watched it at Jeff's after Vanessa, Diana, and Megan left to get up early for work. Amazing movie, although the ultra-violence Sarah could have done without. Then, off to Nott's.

Jeff stayed home, Dickie picked up Justin, Kevin, and Mike while Sarah and I waited and then we all went in to play pool. I had the best game of my life tonight. Someone broke, and then I just went crazy and sunk five in a row, a few decent shots and quite a few nice setups. Someday I'll have to work on clearing the table, but that won't happen just yet.

Yep... that's about all I can think of at the moment.

The Killers

I fucking love The Killers.

Damn you cellular phones.

As of September 1st, I will have a cell phone. Yes, yes. It seems like anyone and everyone has a cell phone nowadays, so I'm a little behind. Well, the only reason I'm getting it is for circumstances with my living away from home yadda, yadda. But anyway, so my search for a plan and a phone began about a week ago.

The plan went easy. I looked at Rogers, I looked at Fido and voila. "Fido to Fido anywhere in Canada" Thirty bucks a month, 150 weekday minutes, unlimited evenings and weekends (7pm-8am). Sounds perfect to me. Even with a Waterloo number, when I'm in Calgary I can phone Calgary numbers for free or using minutes. The downside is I will have to pay long distance if people phone me from Calgary... so therefore I just won't pick up/let them call me... it'll somehow work, maybe Caller ID.

Picking a phone however is a pain in the ass. First of all I'm very picky on the look of phones. Frankly lots of phones are fucking ugly. That cuts the pick into a small pile. Now also since Rogers bought Fido, there's the two networks. 850[Rogers] and 1900[Fido]. Apparently with both you get better reception even when you don't pay the extra five bucks a month to get access to the Rogers network. The next is the vibrating call alert option. That's gotta be handy. Then battery life and then all the other goodies like camera, screen, etc. all that other crap I don't really need.

Yesterday I thought I had nailed my choice. The Nokia 6020, but then today I realized it didn't have the vibrating call. Therefore listening to music and carrying a phone = not good, not to mention the innappropriate times for a phone to go off.

Now I think I've settled on The Sony Ericsson T237. It works on both networks, has the vibrating thingy, and costs nothing with a plan. No goodies though. Also no headset wheras the Sony Ericsson T610 comes with, although I hear they're cheap, and when would I use it I wonder. The T610 has a camera, a better screen, but only works on 1900.

I'd prefer a Nokia but I don't have much of a choice with the Fido phones and frankly I don't want to spend tons of money on a first phone. If I could get a Nokia 8910i that worked in Canada I would buy it, but there aren't. The Nokia 8801 [North American version] would be amazing but I'm not going to spend close to a grand on a phone. An older much more affordable version, the Nokia 8890 would be my most possible to get and not too expensive phone. Too bad it's not sold anymore... that I know of. Also it's not colour or anything like that but the style of it would be worth it.

Anyway, enough phone talk. I'll end up with a cheapo phone for now.

Parti at Darti's [parent's].

Before we get to Darti's Party, the day was as so. Worked at 10 which God knows why I took that shift. Worked worked worked. Not bad at all. At 6 Justin, Sandra and my bro, Ian came in. We did some shopping, made use of the discount. Then headed up to my house for "some" ribs lol. Then we headed up to Market to check out Fido phones and clarify how I'm going to be able to use it in both Calgary and Waterloo. After that, got dropped off, Mike dropped by and hung out a bit and then it was off to Darti's with Jocelyn and Jeff.

Now, first of all, Darti's parent's new house is fucking amazing. God knows how many thousand square-feet on a 2.3 acre "corner" lot [there's just no houses pretty much anywhere to ruin the view, which is the mountains and the city... amazing. Of course I've only seen it in the night.]

Anyway, it was Darti's 19th on the 11th so he had a kegger at his place. So many people. Some I had no idea who they were but all in all cool people. So many people were from junior high, high school, some I haven't seen since school ended. I was DD but fuck it was fun. It's so funny to watch people hammered out of their minds. I'm so glad I got to see all those people. Oh, and I know that the Stampeder Outrider's calendar is out, thanks to Jenn. I'm getting one of those before I leave lol.

Anyway, I gotta work at 11 so short and quick: Party was awesome. Fun times.

Night.

Just a tad pessimistic right now...

Fuck. I looked at the Optometry Application sheet again and just like before, it got me really depressed. There's a whole sheet where I put every single mark I got in every required class. Frankly I have a lot to be ashamed of. It's one thing that my overall average is sitting exactly on the minimum I need to just apply [therefore meaning not being accepted] to the School of Optometry, and another to have course marks that are horrendous.

Next up is a sheet on Academic Awards/Honours with Distinction. Frankly I have none in my university career. Sure there's high school where I got honours all three years [and one year I don't have any certificate to prove that I achieved it]. Then there's the Non-Academic Awards/Honours with Distinction. I have fuck all. That is unless "Perfect Attendance" counts from High School, but who gives a shit about that.

Paid Work Experience. Well, at the top of the list I'll have Super Drug Mart. Excellent. Now they can see that I worked for a company that only exists in Southern Alberta and has absolutely ZERO relation to my field of study. Under that, Zellers. Even better.

Special Training. None.

Volunteer Work Experience. None, well, except for the one day on campus. Impressive...

Extracurricular Activities. Ha... fuck.

Other. I can't even think of anything that falls under "Other".

This just makes me feel like I've wasted yet another summer. Sure I tried to get a "related field" job but obviously I never got one. I don't seem to have the qualifications for one it seems. I didn't volunteer anywhere. I've done no extra-curricular activties, and frankly I did shitty in school, both semesters. Even after experiencing the hell of first semester I would have thought I would have smartened up. I thought I did but I guess that's the best I could do then.

Second year is going to have to be a whole new story. Frankly I'm just going to stay in my room for eight months and work. I can't stand knowing that I just might not make it...

Second Year:
1. Get on the Dean's Honour's List. Not for just one term, for both terms.
2. Get 80%+ in every course/lab [therefore for sure getting #1].
3. Get decent amounts of sleep.
4. No drinking. [yeah, I said it.]
5. No TV [not a problem, seeing as I don't watch TV.]

Next summer:
1. Volunteer at Foothills Hospital.
2. Try to get a job in a related field, eg. Optical shops.
3. Job shadow an Optometrist.
4. Get CPR training.

I'm scared. No matter how much people say, "Oh you'll do fine." it doesn't help. Unless they can see into the future and know I will do fine, then it's just like asking random strangers how they're doing today. You don't care, it's just polite.

In order for me to "do fine" I have to work my fucking ass off.

That's what I'll do. I'll be the loser, the party pooper, the hermit, the guy that never wants to do anything; I just don't care. I want to succeed and in my mind I'm failing. Infact, to the School of Optometry, I already have failed.

26 days until I'm in Toronto and subsequently Waterloo most likely. 32 days until classes. The rollercoaster has begun it's ascent.

Missing the beat.

So in October alone, The Arcade Fire, Metric with The Organ are all playing Calgary at Mac Hall. Franz Ferdinand is playing in Seattle and The Killers in California, although that's a little far. Dang. I won't be in Calgary and then again The Arcade Fire sold out in two hours but I would have really enjoyed seeing Metric. I saw Hot Hot Heat at the Stampede this year which was awesome and a bit of The Trews. Colin has told me I can see Yellowcard in Toronto in September [they also play Calgary ten days later] but I really wish I went to see STARS when they had played in uptown Waterloo. Now their only tour date that I know of is in New York... with Death Cab for Cutie! [Who also play in Vancouver TWICE in October...]

Untitled



To tell you the truth I just was bored and slapped the guns down in a kind of homage to one of my highschool art projects. Then I didn't know what to do or what kind of statement I wanted to make. So I made some sort of morbid story. It makes you think two kids are playing Cops and Robbers and it turns out the gun isn't a toy. But then the last line makes you think he knows it's not a toy... Atleast that's what I was thinking when I made it up. But anyway, I don't really know what subject/statement I want to make with this image or what else to do with my little/no knowledge of Photoshop. Suggestions are welcome.

She's so drunk!

A good day. Started the day off at 11AM. Picked up Kev at 12:30 and Dan after to head to New Dynasty for all you can eat buffet. Dan won, but his prize won't be fun. Mmm, buffet. After that we headed to my place to watch Season Two of The Chapelle Show but it turned out there was no Xbox and also no cables to connect to my TV for my computer. So instead we watched Boondock Saints on the monitor. We headed to Joey's for dessert and to see how Jeff was doing after his night out last night [see previous post]. We then went to Super, bought some "Hangover Relief" pills and gave them too him.

After driving around like tourists, we picked up Kate and headed to Nott's to play some free pool. A very welcomed guest dropped in while we were there. Darryl Sutter. That's right. His visit turned our already terrible pool game into just plain crap. Especially with Dickie being as giddy as a schoolgirl. [Oh, and if you don't know who Darryl Sutter is, perhaps you were asleep last summer.]

Sarah dropped by and after a few more games we headed up to the theatre to watch The Dukes of Hazzard. Much better than I thought it was going to be. Quite funny. Now I just wish I had an old muscle car to bag the shit out of on dirt roads. So after the movie and many minutes of awkward silence in the parking lot, Kev came up with watching Shaun of the Dead at Sarah's. Man that's a hilarious movie. I suggest all should see it.

Anyway, all in all a sweet day. I good end to my two consecutive days off. I was called to see if I could take a shift but I of course declined, afterall, it seems like I work hard and people just want to get me fired, so fuck them.

That's all for now.

Fish and chips and vinegar, vinegar...

So it's my first day off out of the amazing two consecutive days off I've ever had since I've started work. I got up early compared to what time I normally get up at [12:30 instead of 2:30] which was nice. Didn't really get to do anything although I did research on cell phone plans and my dad decided he would rather pay for a cell phone plan than two phone lines I would rarely use [house in Waterloo]. This way works out much nicer for us as I'm going with Fido's Fido to Fido anywhere in Canada plan. Free local and long distance calls to anyone on Fido with unlimited evenings and weekends [7PM to 8AM] all for $30 a month. And I'll have my phone with me everywhere whenever my family needs to get in touch etc. Also I just can't wait to get a cell phone. It was also a good day for my brother. My dad ordered a Canon Rebel XT for him so he should be getting that sometime soon. I'm trying to get a Sony DSC-W5 or whatever it's called.

Anyway, so after killing some time downloading and listening to music I was roasting my ass off in the room so I decided to hop in the shower. As I'm getting out I hear the phone so I book my half naked ass out and answer it. Sarah tells me the guys are at Bugaboo Pub. We haven't been there in ages.

So Sarah picks me up and we head down there. Kevate [the inseperable Kevin and Kate (also known as German Girl)], Jeff, and Dickie where there. Rob and Paul were off somewhere. So fast forward a few minutes, Sarah and I deciding who wants to drink and who wants to drive, some accidental touching of Dickie and some definitely innappropriate touching of Sarah we all decided to settle the tab. Drunk people sure can't count. After the ten minutes it took to get out the door, and another five just to get in the appropriate cars, we all headed home. Our car didn't get two minutes away from Bug's. Had to stop on a bridge just incase Paul decided to meet his lunch. Then we pulled in quickly into Safeway's parking lot in Dalhousie. Dickie met back up with us as he was on Crowchild heading to drop Kate off after dropping Rob off. Paul and Jeff were having a great time out the back seat doors. They weren't just drunk, they were puking and passing out; not a pretty site. Dickie got them some water, I got some napkins for them to wipe their own mucus up with. We sang some songs, did a little dancing to pass time as they passed out.

So after awhile, or a few hours, whatever you prefer, we drove back, dropped a much improved Paul off and then headed to Jeff's. Let's just say Jeff had no sense of depth perception, his balance was almost completely shot, and getting up didn't help his stomach.

Hope you all had fun. I know I did. [I did at the bar, the singing was fun, and so was the driving, just because it's not my car. However... the sitting around just waiting for people to sober up in the cold, not too fun.] Hope everyone got home safe and sound.

And for tomorrow, all you can eat at The New Dynasty with Kev and Dickie and perhaps some others... we'll see.

Collect calls to home
to tell them that I realize
that everyone who lives will someday die
and die alone.


This one was mighty simple. A rather seemingly pleasant picture...

We all come to an end. And we all end, together.



I don't really know what I was doing when I made this but I killed a good amount of time doing it. I didn't have a plan but I just kinda pulled stuff out of my ass. Made a big red rectangle. Made some black borders. Found an interesting picture on the internet, did some stuff. Ended up with this. I suppose it's a statement, maybe not. It was fun. Perhaps some more random made pictures in the future.

Space hamburgers

Seems like 4 AM is a good time for profound conversations about life. Kevin and I seem to have been doing that lately.

Tonight was a good talk on going back/to university which led to things like how we've all grown up or changed from high school. Also things and events that have changed. One thing we touched on was regrets, or things we would have done differently. Turns out there are quite a few. I seem to see life as learning about what you should have done but even so, if you went back and did the "right" thing, you may not necessarily end up where you want to be. Frankly there are things in life and people that I've met or known that I wouldn't change. However there are lots of things that I would have chosen to do or not do in life. Some of the major things: I would have pursued my love for space exploration. I would have chosen to learn Cantonese when my mom tried to teach me. There are of course lots of lesser choices that I would have changed.

I suppose there's always still time. At the moment I'm going to continue my pursuit for optometry, it still is afterall something that really interests me. After that I may want to try Aeronautical Engineering and also learn Cantonese. I've never been able to speak to my grandparents and frankly that's sad. With what's going on with my grandfather right now it's sad to know that I've never actually had a conversation with him. Not even small talk; how's the weather, how are things in general...

Well, that's my theory on life. Learn about what you should have done but at the same time try to appreciate things.

Oh, and I will make it into space someday. I plan on including into my will [when I make a will] to have my ashes launched into space, it's doable. No jokes. It's my life dream to go to space. If I can't be there mentally atleast what's left of me will be there. Of course, I don't want to be sent up on some commercial launch like they do now. I would rather be brought up on a scientific mission, a launch with a purpose, not just another satellite.

Anyway, that's all for now. From now on I'm going to try to post more often about much more meaningful things. Of course every once in awhile some non-profound things are good.

If any of you are wondering about the title: First JBC in space.

Dressed to digress

For about the last six weeks I have been wearing black pants, black socks, black shoes, and a dark navy blue golf-tee and a stunningly sexy nametag.

Frankly it's pissing me off.

I'm starting to hate having to wear a uniform. It's like a loss of expression. Lately I've been getting tired of normal clothes. The standard dress shirt just doesn't cut it anymore. I need something new, something radical. Something new but perhaps with retro influences. Something you can wear over perhaps another dress shirt with the class of a blazer but the practicalities of a jacket. There are some items out there already but they just won't do.

Also, people at work wear sweaters/jackets sometimes. I wonder what I could get away with... Perhaps an old suit jacket? As long as I'm still wearing my uniform... I wonder.

Let me play among the stars

Suddenly for the past few days I've been really excited about Space. I suppose it's because of the news of the Space Shuttle program being back up and running [but not anymore :P]. My dream had always been to become an astronaut and for a little while that seemed to have faded away and I suppose why I chose Optometry. I guess I started looking into I suppose what one might call a more realistic goal or a career that will support myself and a family in the future, money-wise.

Truthfully my passion would be to go into space and conduct experiments that no one else has ever done, to see the stars without the haze of our atmosphere, too be that even closer to the moon, and to look at the Earth. If I were to be given the chance to travel in space, if I were to die the next day, I would die happy.

It's sad to know that I've veered from my dream... maybe somehow someday an Optometrist will be needed in space... or maybe things just might change in the future.

Enterprise. Columbia. Challenger. Discovery. Atlantis. Endeavour.
I can't wait to see what's next.