Frightening flatulence

So today started off with work from 11 - 5 and then headed to Megan's at 8 with Sarah and Jeff. We did some back and forth between Sarah's, Megan's, and Safeway to get what we needed for a fire and making smores. That was my first time ever having a real smore. I must say, yum yum. lol. Dickie and Vanessa showed up shortly after we settled around the firepit.

So today's events made us realize we're all going to die camping, either from lack of adequate camping knowledge or from Dickie's ass. That fart seriously scared me and I think Sarah too.

yeah, just fell asleep like four times thinking about what I was writing so now I'm totally lost as to what I was gonna write.

Damn, I'm tired. I just fell asleep like three more times thinking about this paragraph. We chilled out around the fire and talked about random things, lots to do with our jobs and camping. Or in Sarah's case, needing a job and how everyone's going to scare the crap out of her when camping. aww lol. [Call Zellers, Sarah. ;)]

After getting sparks on the crotch and in the hair, putting out the fire, being threatened to be shown a "full moon", we headed to the cars where we witnessed Sarah's hiked up sweatpants modelling. Bloody hilarious.

So after leaving Megan's and dropping Sarah off, we headed to Justin's where we also picked up Kevin and then headed to Mike's to pick him up. [good ol' bobsledding.] From there we headed up to Timmy's for some long needed hanging out.

Now I'm bloody friggin' tired and am going to pass out. Perhaps I should write these when I'm a little more awake. All I know is today was jam packed with fun. Me tired.

Holy crap

Yeah, so I guess I shall post about the turn in events thus far in the Life of Woo³.

So as I kicked myself home last night, and sat in bed with my laptop talking to the Mac, I thought I better do something.

So I did.

As I was driving up Nose Hill Drive, I turned right at the Esso instead of continuing forward through the lights. My brain at this moment is thinking, "Woah, this isn't normal." I turn left onto Silversprings Boulevard and park my car infront of Sarah's. My brain kicks in and says, "Hey man, you actually stopped the car at Sarah's." So I get out, walk up the long steps and just as I ring the doorbell, my brain, which is still getting out of the car, catches up with me and tells me, "Holy crap, you just rang her doorbell."

For awhile I started panicking thinking maybe she wasn't awake or she wasn't home. When the door opened, I stammered my shpiel out and then my brain shut down on me and couldn't form any words. The execution was terrible, but the response was great.

My wobbly legs took my unattached body, brain included, down the steps again into the Lead Sled [my car, for anyone that doesn't know]. I headed to work in a tranquil state.

So after work, and after I had dinner, Sarah and I headed to West Rock Cafe up in Crowfoot where we shared an Oreo cake. mmmm, go try it. After that we headed to Country Hills Silvercity to watch the Bourne Supremacy [so awesome. go see it.]. We got there a little early so we walked the parking lot a bit and talked and after buying tickets conversed more in the theatre lobby.

I must say, I had such a great time. Never did I feel awkward but instead completely comfortable. I'm so glad I did what I did this morning... it's like the weights were lifted off my shoulders and replaced with wings.

No more hoping for tomorrow, instead, live for tomorrow.

The only joy in the world is to begin.
Cesare Pavese (1908 - 1950)

Kicking myself (translation: Woo = Chickenshit)

So...

sefkhalwhefuahwfjgskjgfajwgfkajgwefygkwfbhajsgfkjaywgekfjgkwje
fgakdhgfajyegkfjawedsfjhlakjhfalwhlefakwhelfkahlwkuefhalwukeh.

That about explains it. ajwfjwgfejkagfjegayewgfawgyefa.

Family Outing

Well, before that, last night, Dickie, Vanessa, Megan, and I headed to Jeff's to watch some TV and just chill out. After everyone left Jeff and I had a good 2 AM snack. Bob the Builder and Spongebob Squarepants spaghetti with All Dressed chips and Frank's Hot Sauce. yum. We sorta watched Black Hawk Down and then after, around 5:30 AM I headed home.

Woke up today at 11:30 AM and my family, minus Ian [in Victoria], headed up to COP for my dad's company's family outing. It was a lot more fun than I thought it would be and it was worth getting up for. We ate our lunch and then headed up for free mini putting. Fun stuff. My dad beat us all, I came in second, Ryan third and my mom a far last. lol. We headed back too cool off with some drinks, some lemonades, cokes, vodka with lemon. lol. My mom and I made a little use of the free liquor tickets.

It's awesome outside; so warm and sunny. Mini-putting is fun. yep yep.

Toasty and Tired

Damn, I'm tired.

So yesterday I ended up going to bed at four AM. I was actually called at 1:30 AM by Jeff to get picked up; he treated me to Tim Horton's where I had a BLT Combo. I didn't mind him calling so late, seeing as I wasn't sleeping anyway.

So I headed back home and fell asleep around four AM, like mentioned above, and woke up around seven AM. I headed off to work and was amazed to find our store actually opening at eight-bloody-o'clock. The time went by relatively quick though. I spent a bit of time in the Smoke Shop where it's not nearly as busy and I have time to just fiddle my thumbs.

I've actually just woken up from a nap, I think a close to three hour nap, and I still feel tired. Blargh. I'm glad I have tomorrow off.

On another note, my brother got home today a bit after I did and turns out he went to the Gold Medal Tour where he got "bag the shit" out of some expensive cars. Sounds like fun.

Anyway, that's all I can think of in this blistering heat. Perhaps more later on.

Insomnia

So it's midnight and I can't sleep at all. Ironically I was falling asleep around ten and now I'm wide awake. So I guess there's nothing else but to blog again, so shortly after my last. :P lol.

Let's see... uh, today I figured out the room I'm in for residence. I am in Village 1 in the South building on the second floor, room S2-207a [for those of you wanting to drop by sometime. ;)] and I even have my phone number already, (519)725-6301 [for those of you wanting to give me a ring ;)]. My room is a single room, dorm style [basically just independent rooms] so I've got a lot of privacy and time to myself. I also received my diploma marks today, as many of you others would have too.

Social Studies 30: 80% going in, 82% on the exam, 81% final. [57/70 MC (81%)][25/30 WR (83%)]
Chemistry 30: 93% going in, 87% on the exam, 90% final. [48/55 MC (87%)][21/24 WR (87.5%)]
English Language Arts 30-1: 83% going in, 75% on the exam, 79% final. [58/70 MC (82.9%)][34/50 WR (68%)]

The most shocking of the above was my Social Studies exam. Seeing as I got 50% on the mid-term, I did not expect to raise my mark. I'm glad my Chemistry mark stayed in the 90's and my English is better than I expected, but not what I wanted. All I wanted was a simple 80% but instead got 79%... just like Physics 30 last year. I predicted I would get 69% on my written English, but I'm pleasantly surprised with my multiple choice mark. Overall, I am pleased with my marks, and hopefully the 79% doesn't affect my Rutherford Scholarship [I think it's average 80% and above with nothing below 75%? I'll check it out.].

Hopefully you all did well on your final examinations. As for myself, I can finally breathe confidently as the next educational step is going to University.

By the way, "ECS" stands for "Early Childhood Services" lol.

Well, can't think of much else to say anymore... soooo... I'm gonna MSN a little and perhaps feel tired and sleep.

Making time pass quicker

The past sixteen hours since I last posted have gone a little quicker, yet still so slowly. I even slept through nine hours of it.

Today I woke up from a very interesting yet almost disappointing dream. It seems kinda lame to tell people, so I'll leave it at that. [No not like that, you sicko. lol]

I found a message on my computer from Jamie wanting to go to Eau Claire for the evening. I was delightfully pleased to call her up and spend some more time with an old friend, especially after the rough week she's been having. I do hope things look better for her as the summer progresses.

We took a nice stroll through the Eau Claire market, looking at different stores etc. and talking about random things on our minds. We headed to Joey's for a bite to eat [mmmm I love those fries.] where once again we talked about our summers, school, going to university, and other people.

I'm glad I spent time with Jamie today, infact glad I did anything at all on my day off. I had a lot of fun and without it time would just crawl by. It's eleven in the evening and I'm thinking of going to bed. Not only because sleeping makes time go faster, but because I have to start work at eight in the morning. :P I'm pretty sure the store opens at nine; I think I have to go to some sort of associate meeting.

Anyway, tick tock goes the clock. The 8 - 3 shift will take bloody forever and when I get off I'll still have half the day to go. On Sunday I have to wake up around 10 to go to my dad's company's "family outing". That'll take up from arond 11 - maybe 4 or 5. Then it's on the home stretch from then on. That's around 48 hours... go faster dammit.

Rebound

So today I worked from 5:45 PM to 9:45 PM, a short but seemingly longer shift. Nothing out of the ordinary.

When I got home, Jeff calls me up to see if I wanted to do anything with him, Dickie and Vanessa. Instead Dickie spent time with Vanessa and Jeff, Jamie [from pre-high school days], and I went to Denny's. We did a lot of reminiscing, chatted about our summers, relationships... etc. I accidentally sexually harassed our waitress, but we left a good tip.

So we drop Jamie off at home because she's dead tired and Jeff and I head up to Timmy Ho's. I pull into the parking lot next to a car just as the people were about to get into it. I wait patiently for the people to get in so I don't hit them with my door but as I do so I put the car in park, put the brake on and then decided to just turn my lights off and take off my seatbelt. Like the retard I am, as the other car moves away I get out, lock the door and close it. Just as I close it Jeff asks if the engine was still running. Fuck, I'm a moron. Thankfully my oldest brother, Ryan, drove up with spare keys. So we sat in Timmy Ho's for a looong time talking about random stuff as mentioned in Jeff's blog such as cars, guns, work, etc. My brother left as it was getting a little light out and Jeff and I stayed for a bit longer.

I went from 110% confidence at Denny's to having a bit of doubt after talking with Jeff... He brought forth a whole new side of the situation that I never even thought of... perhaps a side my brain didn't want to think of. It sucks to think of... It may change the way I carry out this solution, but I'll still do it. Oh I hope for the best...

What the hell! I just looked at the calendar and it's only Friday! I could have swore it was Saturday... aw hell. I have today off and it's going to flow by as fast as molasses in the arctic. Perhaps it's a good thing it's 7 AM... I can sleep the whole day by.

Ugh. This is tough...

Close in mind

Every once in awhile, I think of something that's happened, something we've done, and it makes me smile. Literally. Sometimes I even laugh to myself and sometimes I just plain lose my train of thought because of it. It's nice, I can't say that has ever happened to me so much before. I used to sit and think to myself at work when there was nothing to do and it made me sad but now I can't help but smile to myself.

I'm in a pleaseant mood for the time being. It's been a day and I've coped with myself. I keep imagining the future and it worries me because I might be setting myself up for disappointment. At the same time I have some strange flux of confidence that everything will be all right. Normally I force myself to never get my hopes up, but this time I am. I just couldn't live with myself that way before. Hopefully for the time being, it helps me carry on.

Each second ticks by so slowly, the slowest I have ever felt before.

Final Answer

Sorry about the delay on changing the poll.

The results of "Do you have a summer job?" are as follows.

Ten of you are working hard for your money [♪ doo doo, doo doo ♪],
Three of you are looking, one is working extra hard with two jobs, and there's one lazy bugger out there that just doesn't have a job. [just kidding, it's all good] That's a total of 15 votes, sorry I forgot to include a "have a job but looking for second" option.

This weeks poll is, "Which do you prefer?". Please scroll down and look a bit to your right to find the poll where you can choose one of the unique [and strange] answers.

So onto the "pressing matters" at the moment. I've come down to my final answer to this all. Based on many assumptions I've made in my head, conversations and time I've had with people, and all the time I've wasted until now, I will come clean. Not just yet though because... well, I can't. It's going to be the first thing on my mind all day(s) and when it comes to, it will hopefully be worth it. I prefer the optimistic route seeing as it just makes everything better in the present. I'll deal with the future when it comes to it.

Seeing how this has all unfolded, I'm pretty sure this will be an opportune time. I'm pretty sure everyone knows now... everyone. [Well, the ones that need to... for the ones thinking, "wtf?"] I just function at a different pace than most people and I hope that's okay.

It makes me feel warm inside to think about, and although I'm almost sure it should turn out fine, I still worry. Perhaps I have just interpreted everything completely askew... either way, it's still happening. I can't go on wondering anymore.

Now all that remains is time and hope, and of course to see if my solution matches my answer.

Fan-Fucking-Tastic

So here's a post to contrast many of the others.

Today was a good day, and then a great day, and then a fan-fucking-tastic day.

I started work at 11 AM today and ended at 5 PM. The day was busy enough that I, for the most part, always had something to do but not busy enough that it was painful. Another amazing thing work had was less asshole customers and more nice people! In fact, someone filled out a customer comment card about me that mentioned me as being "A++". I'm glad someone appreciates the extra little effort I put towards them. I have a feeling I know which customer it was and I can understand why I gave them good service. I say approach the teller with a great attitude and you shall receive a great attidude back. The thing I hate most is customers that treat you like shit for no reason. And they wonder why they get bad service. Anyway, the day was beautiful and work went quick.

Going home I was a little disappointed there wasn't anything to do. No one was online and others were at work. I had my dinner and then decided since there was nothing to do, I'd take a nap. It lasted no longer than probably five or ten minutes when for some reason I just woke up. I changed my MSN name to "wake me up" before I took a nap in case anyone of interest came online. Strangely I woke up to Sarah's message, which I didn't hear, and we talked for quite awhile about different things, some pressing matters, and some light chit-chat. For a good three and a half-or-so hours I expressed some needed thoughts and quickly and enjoyably passed the time until Jeff called.

As planned the previous night at Sarah's when we watched The Bourne Identity, we watched a movie at Jeff's. Jeff, Megan, Sarah, and I watched 28 Days Later in Jeff's cozy basement. Rage-tastic.

Things are looking up. I'm happier than before and I think all this talking I do with you guys [you know who you are] really helps. I really should be happy. Perhaps very soon, or after this weekend, things will happen...

A dream of tomorrow becomes reality. :)

[Is this not so sad? ;)]

Progression regression

It's been awhile since I've posted. :P Things have just been... different.

I find myself expressing a lot more emotion than I prefer to at times. I just told my mom to fuck off and that I should be able to enjoy my own life every once in awhile... It's terrible, but I just need to be left alone every once in awhile. Other times I've talked with friends and have been in millimeters of tears. Some of the friends whom I would never think I would in front of.

It's been a rollercoaster the past few days. Some, if not most people, wouldn't have noticed by my general appearance. Others are right there beside me. I've been close to just letting it all out once, then backing away, and once again close. Now I'm no longer close, instead I sit back and wait. This time however is a little different, perhaps more than I expected, but nothing to what I've wanted. I suppose right now I'm waiting for some progression, or regression - anything. Although now I know my decision in black and white, I just need the background info. And still I wait.

Everyday that passes by is a day less. I fear that what has happened is just pushing me higher so I can fall farther. Still I do not know. I over-analyze things too much, but in this case, I think it needs to be. How I wish the situation were different...
Almost too much to handle. Everyday chugs by so slowly when I'm alone with my thoughts. Work can help pass the time quicker and at the same time make it pass by even slower. Perhaps soon that could change.

Sometimes I wonder when people read this if they get anything out of it at all. Does it make them wonder? Does it make them think? Can they understand what I'm talking about if they know what's going on or if they don't know what's going on... It's just... I don't know. Without this whole "blogging" I'm sure I would have gone off the wall by now. Sometimes I write as though to hint at things, sometimes just to express myselves, and sometimes just to say something, but not say another. My mind on paper [or in this case electronic] is so different than my mind in action.

I just wish this would progress faster but at the same time slower. Time is running out. I've taken the advice I've been given, nothing shall happen unless it's possible. I fear the worse. I hope for the best.

I dream of tomorrow.

AUUGH!

AUGH! I just wish I could do something right now! If it weren't three in the friggin' morning! Fuck! When I wake up I'm not going to be nearly as easily wanting to finally do something, not to mention I've got work. If only! Argh! I just want them to know... I have to, for myself. Augh! Perhaps tomorrow if there's a chance, I'll be just as ready as I am now. This may finally be over soon enough, or just beginning...

LANarrific

[Yeah, this was a blog I forgot to post, I saved it as a draft. meh.]

So yesterday and today were/are my days off work this week and as planned long before, Andy F organized a LAN at Bruce's house. Justin, Mike W, and I plus others, mainly Andy's friends and guys we've LANed with before. That's probably the most video games I'll play in a long time. Boy, that basement got roasting. I could have swore it was in the mid-thirty degree range. Around 11:30 PM I was invited to Crowfoot to hang out at Boston Pizza with Dickie and Jeff by Sarah. I was glad to have that break, I don't think I can play video games as long anymore, just not as appealing, but still fun at a LAN. Justin decided to come along too but came after I had already left. I wasn't waiting outside though but was instead walking along the road so Sarah wouldn't have to go search for the house we were at. So Justin endd up jogging all the way up from Silverview Drive, which is the edge of Silversprings overlooking Bowness, to Boston Pizza in Crowfoot. Holy crap, I don't think I would have made it. You'd find me passed out on the side of the road in the morning.
 
Justin and I headed back to the LAN where we continued to play games, watch some movies off other people's computers, etc. until people started passing out. We left at around 10 AM today and after dropping computers off, Mike, Justin, and I headed up to Crowfoot to find a pancake breakfast but to no avail.
 
Now I'm pretty much waiting for Sarah to call so we, plus Justin, can head up to Zellers and see if they can get some jobs. Soon there will be a Zellers crew along with the Chalet crew [Dickie and Jeff] and the La Senza crew [Vanessa and Megan]. I'm pretty sure if I have a friend or more work with me every once in awhile I'll enjoy it more than I do now and perhaps decide not to quit as early as planned. :)
 
Anyway, back to sitting around waiting and trying to avoid the blistering heat.

Unknown variables

Yesterday was an interesting day. Interesting to myself, but maybe not others. I had a double shift at Zellers today, the first shift was renovating, the second on cash. Let's just say it wasn't much fun. Every once in awhile I'd have time to think to myself but it never really amounted to anything; I just wanted to get out of there. A few minutes longer and I swear I would have flipped.
 
I got home and went straight to my room. Good ol' MSN. I always check it to see if anything's going on. For awhile there wasn't anything... no one online. I was pretty disappointed that after such a long day there was nothing to do after. Thankfully Jeff saved me from expiring due to boredom and told me to go to his house.
 
On arrival it was Jeff, Sarah, Dickie, Vanessa and I chilling out, watching TV. Dickie and Vanessa left early so Sarah and I watched TV while Jeff tried to fix my keychain that fell apart. We enjoyed some popcorn and a drink loaded with crack - er, sugar.
 
We left around 1:20 am or so and like always I headed onto MSN. After the usual small talk, Jeff and I got talking for like four hours. Thanks Jeff, no matter how stubborn I was to tell you anything atleast you kept trying. Letting it out really helped man. Last night my mind was set on what I was going to do, but as you said, I just need a time and a place. Now that it's the next day, I don't know as sure if I were to do it. It would depend on the situation, but like you and many others have said, it would make me feel so much better to just do something.
 
Jeff, I told you this last night, and I'm telling you again. You are so lucky. You know both sides of the equation, you know what will result, you know everything. If I did, in a heartbeat I would do something... unless it wasn't something good.
 
Jeff, I don't think I'll be able to figure out/do anything by Saturday... It might even be easier after.

In case of emergency, push button to stop elevator.

I hate thinking about it. I get that dull sensation right above the stomach and all I end up thinking is what I wish. As a result I haven't done anything. Part of me wishes I just would and see what comes from it, but at the moment the other half that's telling me not to do anything is winning the battle.

Sometimes something happens and I think, "This is great." and at other times I'm thinking, "I'm just fooling myself." at other times I just plain don't know. Every time it feels different; from one time to another.

One the verge of breaking I just wish it weren't this way. I tell myself it would be so much easier to just pretend it's not there and bury it deep inside. It's been done before, it's worked before, it's hurt before. Why? Why couldn't I just have had a carefree summer and just been able to enjoy it? The more time I have with myself to think, the easier it is to bring myself to tears. Why should something that should be so great cause so much pain?

I think it's fear. A fear of losing something I don't have, a fear of losing something that already is. A fear caused by past experiences, a fear to try what has been tried before and experience the pain again.

A recent conversation gave me hope. A hope to solve this all, atleast temporarily. Even so, I thought about it and the chances of the bad outweighed the good. The ball is not in my court. It's been popped, kicked, and buried in the dirt. I appreciate the help, it got me thinking, hoping, wondering... It pushed emotions but it felt good to get some out.

At this moment I'm more confused than ever. Not more than I day has gone by since I had changed from wanting to just "go for it" and solve the "what if?" question to wishing this were all different. I'm being ripped apart inside and sooner or later I'll collapse. Everything influences what goes on in my head; what's happening, who's with us, what we're doing...

Argh. Sometimes I just wish somehow this hesitation/indecision would just end spontaneously. Perhaps out of nowhere I'll do it myself. Perhaps I'll learn something to push me where I'm needed. Perhaps they'll find out on their own. Perhaps they already know, not that it seems to help at the moment if that's the way it is.

I can't take it anymore. I don't know how much longer I can stand it. Something needs to happen, something needs to be done. I'm fearing I'll give up and live with the "what if" but I know I'd regret it. Please, no. I hate the pain.

I'm starting to think I stay up later and later because I think somehow something will happen or I'll think something that'll help it all.

No sleep. No sleep until I'm done with finding the answer.

Perhaps ten million bucks can buy my happiness. I bought my first lotto 6/49 ticket today for the hell of it. Let's all hope I got lucky. I've always been one to laugh when people say money can't buy happiness. Yeah with ten million bucks I could be happy, but it wouldn't be true happiness. Money isn't everything. I'd give mine all away to just solve everything.

I'm switching the subject myself. I don't want to think about it. I went to a Stampede Breakfast at Market Mall with Sarah, Justin, Jeff, and Dickie. Free food is great. After they left and hung out a bit while I was at an Orthodontist appointment, we, minus Sarah, headed to Sobey's Stampede lunch. Justin and I did some sample hunting.

We watched Sarah kick some major ass in the 800m race she ran and then we headed on down to the Stampede grounds. As we arrived first thing we did was wait for Fefe Dobson to come on the Coca Cola stage. Jeff wanted to hear one song from her while I thought it was gonna be pretty lame. Instead I ended up having a lot more fun than I thought I would have had at a Fefe Dobson concert. Too bad the little kids and the mom's and dad's around Sarah and I didn't share in the fun we were having.

After we heard the song Jeff wanted to hear we headed around the Stampede grounds, checked out some booths in the Roundup Center and watched Jeff play a few games. We watched the fireworks from the grounds where we also saw Darti and Josh T. The fireworks were great but at the same time disappointing for other reasons. Things were just different at the time. I'd like to watch them from whatever the community is that I watched them from last year. I can't believe Stampede will be over soon. Atleast I got to go once with my friends before I leave. Who knows what a year from now will be like. At this time I'm almost wishing I were staying here.

I have an irrational mind right now. I'll have lots of time on my double shift [today] to think to myself.

"Why only one?"

So at the good ol' Market Mall Zellers, there is an option to donate a dollar in support of the New Alberta Children's Hospital, the Kids Help Phone, and the Cystic Fibrosis foundation. There's a "contest" between cashiers where the person who "sells" the most of these donation sheets [just little things to hang on the wall] gets a hundred dollar HBC Gift Card. Now obviously the people with over 40 hours a week are going to get more than others and so most people don't even bother asking customers. I figure it goes to a good cause and really it's not a hassle to me so I ask anyway, even if I don't get the most sold.

I swear, either some people are just bloody cheap or just plain selfish. The winning excuse today was, "I don't have enough [to donate].".

It's a fucking dollar.

Yeah, now there are some people that can't afford to give up that dollar and it's usually obvious when they can't. This guy however pulled out a fifty dollar bill for a two dollar item. Seriously, have a heart.

The second best excuse was, "I don't have time right now.". Hello, I'm the one doing the work, all you have to do is put your name on a card [and that in itself is optional. I scan the card [uh oh, there goes a precious half second of time which adds the dollar straight onto the bill thus not needing a loonie to be dug out of the wallet or purse.

There are people that don't donate because they donate all the time or because they live off every dollar they make but even if you just don't want to, why lie? People try to explain to me why they don't want to donate, frankly, I don't give a shit. If you feel you have to redeem yourself for not donating a dollar so you won't feel guilty, why not just donate the dollar instead.

I know, some people have reasons not to donate and I'm making most people sound bad. There have been the occasional people that do the opposite of the above mentioned. After I finish scanning all their items, I ask the customer, "Would you like to donate a dollar to the New Alberta Children's Hospital?".

The best response was, "Why only one?"

Some donate two dollars, others three... one donated five. The one was a young man that came through my till looking no older than perhaps late twenties. He held a big bag with a stuffed animal inside and one of those foil balloons sticking out of it. He looked at me after I asked him if he wanted to donate a dolare and he asked me the above question. He asked for five so I scanned five and gave him the five cards to write names on. One by one he filled them out slowly and carefully in silence as I waited with his charge card and Rewards card in hand. As he finished signing the last card, he, with teary eyes, looked straight at me and said, "My son is in there..."

I gave him his cards, wished his son luck and watched him walk off through the mall.

Most people don't seem to care to donate a dollar. I bet most don't because they've never depended on what they're donating to. Someone once said, "What? They don't have enough money to finish building it?". Others say, "I've done it once before." Sure most probably don't mean anything bad when they say it, it's just that when they say that, it sounds like a dollar is enough. One guy came through and donated two dollars because, "They saved my life.". Sure, two dollars seems like nothing, but I can tell you that's a thousand times more than others would give.

So next time you go through a till in Zellers and perhaps the Bay, donate. It's a dollar. I make more than a dollar in less than 9 minutes. It goes to a good cause. Whether or not the Children's Hospital, the Kid's Help Phone, or Cystic Fibrosis helps you, just do it. If you don't feel like it, just say no thanks. I and maybe others would rather hear that than some poorly made excuse not to.

In other news, it's my oldest brother's birthday today. Happy 22nd. We're going out for dinner later. After that I hope to be able to see a movie with everyone at Jeff's house. Perhaps Army of Darkness to finish off the trilogy. That reminds me, Sarah has only seen Episode Two of all the Star Wars movies...

Another post by tonight [or perhaps, in following of the trend, tomorrow at 4 or 5 AM :P].

Yeehaw

So yesterday a bunch of us went to Schanks and watched Anchorman yadda yadda yadda, I'm sure you can read it on Jeff's or Justin's blog. Hilarious movie. Brokendown Golfcarts are good. Boneless chicken wings are good.

So we decided to go to a Stampede Breakfast in Dalhousie this morning. mmmm mmmm. I like Stampede breakfasts, just not the whole getting up early business. Justin got shafted with the tiny pancakes.

I look in the mirror and feel so out of place. Perhaps I was out of my element. Perhaps I just am.

Took a nap and then woke up around 2 to go running with Justin, Sarah, and later Jeff. We ran straight from my house to Jeff's. I'm bloody amazed I did that. I'm quite proud, seeing as I'm terribly out of shape and never do anything physical. :P Although running from Jeff's to home wasn't so good. I was dead, I had to rest.

Work today was terribly boring. Some crazy lady talked to me for like ten minutes straight about who knows what. Something about her daughter being on the committee for the Commonwealth games equivalent to the IOC [International Olympic Committee], some other stuff I couldn't hear, one of my co-workers being beautiful, and me having a small, sweet face. Yeah, that was a little odd.

JoAnne, Justin, and I went to Timmy Ho's for some Iced Capps and out of boredom. Jo hurt her "tush" Yeah, we had some good chats. About the future, future plans, the present... :P Plans of action...

I really don't know what I'm doing. I'll probably become one of those people thinking, "What if...?" later on. I'm just not the kind of guy that just "goes for it". I don't want to ruin a perfectly good thing, you guys say I won't. I know it would be different if it doesn't work. By the way, it's 2073.65 kms or 35 hours, 7 minutes non-stop. It would be tough to do... and it's not like I'd be back everychance I got.

Yet I still wonder...what if? and then I think about it, I don't have the best record when it comes to this. I'm zero for all.

I vent a lot of stuff on my blog. It's easier that way. I don't have to face someone and tell them eye to eye or voice to voice. I'm pretty much just thinking on to paper and it just so happens that everyone else can read it. Sure it may not make sense to them, but they read what I'm thinking... just with details left out.

Oh it would be so much easier to know. [No I won't just go for it. I don't know enough, if anything at all...]

Later. These posts turn into something most of you have no idea what I'm talking about so it's pretty useless to you.

Hesitation frustration

Look

Look around at the world,
Take it all in.
Absorb the information,
And decipher within.

Choose to accept it,
Or choose to hide.
Something will happen,
To make you decide.

You don't know what to do,
You'll feel lost inside.
Sometimes you wish,
It would all just subside.

But then you think,
What could come from this.
It could turn out bad,
Or end in pure bliss.

A decision to make,
If only you knew each side.
How much easier it could be,
To deal with the feelings inside.

Cadillac, Cadillac...

That's the song that for some reason is stuck in my head at the moment. I'm sure it's from today's events.

Today, well, I guess yesterday now, was Michelle I's 18th birthday! We, being many of her friends, most of which I only know from school and some other parties, and Mike W, all went on a Club Crawl. To be specific, the Stampede Club Crawl. A blast it was. A little awkward at times not really knowing anyone too well to tell the truth, but nonetheless still a blast. I do believe I owe Michelle a Dirty Hooker ;) since Mike and I left before we went to the last bar. Always remember pooba and aboop, Michelle. ;)

Headed to Mike's house where we ate food, watched TV and messed around with his computer for a bit. Sarah and Dickie dropped by and we played the Game of Life. Finally I got to finish playing that game for once instead of starting and never ending. Dickie ended up winning with over three million dollars in net value, Sarah got close, I did alright, and I can't remember what Mike got. It was fun. [great sentence there...] Vanessa dropped by and we [not including her] played Uno. I don't know why, but that game just seems to relax me. Once again... it was fun.

Sarah left since she has track bloody early today and the rest of us just moped around watching TV. Yep...

Yeah... all I can really say right now is, "Meh."

This is going to be a long summer.

oh ya. Justin has a blog.

The most unfortunate of times...

Sometimes someone can say something to you that makes you realize what you've been wondering. Something that just pushes your mind to realize the truth. It takes away that doubt that keeps you on the fence and you finally fall to one side.

The comment wasn't meant to hurt. It wasn't meant to make me jealous. It wasn't meant to make me wonder or wish... but it did it all.

Now I face a dilemma, one that has come up once before but in a different situation. Others, I'm sure, face it now whether they know it or not. What do I do? Do I sit back and let it all just run it's course? Do I stand by my mind or follow the heart? Which will cause pain, joy, jealousy, or destruction? I have nothing to work with except myself.

Realization hit first - and it hit me hard. Questions that lingered in my mind were answered and left me speechless. Do I dare respond? Do I tell them what I feel? Ignore it. Pretend it has no effect.

Jealousy hit second. What if? What would I do if "if" happened? Could it happen? Could it happen to me? Would I sit back and do nothing? Should I sit back and do nothing? How would things change?

I began to wonder. I began to wish. What could happen if I did do something? What would be the result? How would that affect everything else? Why couldn't I? Why couldn't it? Why would they...?

There's no way. Nah, it wouldn't happen. Don't even try. It won't work.

Why now? At the most unfortunate of times. To start would mean to end so soon. To do nothing is to reject myself of the chance and perhaps feed a hidden jealousy. To try and fail would be to ruin what is already good.

"Why?"
The most fitting of all questions in my mind. On it's own or with an addition, the question makes me wonder. I wonder about it all.

I've told someone before that if I were to face the situation I wouldn't do a thing. Now that I face the situation, I'm sure I could prove myself wrong. But is it worth it... Someone hinted that it was obvious, or were they just guessing? Perhaps they were just joking. I did what I do best - I hid from it. I avoided the situation and pretended I knew nothing, and yet at the same time, thought I knew something. To converse more would mean to solve the questions in my head. The conversation never happened and left me unanswered.

Now that they are solved, I thought it would make me feel better. In some ways it does, but in others it doesn't. With an added element, it just makes the situation more confusing - and even kind of sad.

Again... the most unfortunate of times.

Give no decision till both sides thou'st heard. - Phocylides

The most appropriate of quotes...

This elevator only goes up.

So Sarah picked up Jeff and I to go to Vanessa and Megan's baseball game up in the Hamptons [that sounds like something they say on TV] where I owe the prevention of having to get a new face to Jeff.

There we were sitting on the blanket eating Spitz. Both Sarah and Jeff are watching the warmup before the inning starts and I turn around to spit the shell out. As I'm turning back, I see about a foot in front of me a big friggin' white baseball and the tips of fingers within the corner view of my eye. Being dumb slow me, I turn my head instead of ducking and immediately I hear the crack of the ball on skin. Jeff caught the ball out of mid-air and saved me from saying goodbye to the Gucci glasses and possibly a could-have-been bruise/cut/broken face. lol. I owe him so much. I love you man. And as for Sarah, thanks for running away. Some friend you are. lol jk! [I'd probably be trying to get the hell out of the way. :P] Atleast you put the effort in the other 12 times the ball came at us. I swear there's a big magnet in the ball and a chunk of metal in my head or something.

After that, Sarah and I headed to Rogers to rent Evil Dead II as Dickie and Jeff got some snacks. "Some" being an understatement. Candy Trail Mix is the sweetest invention [no pun intended]. We gotta take that camping. Vanessa and Megan arrived and we started the movie.

As usual, Sarah was scared crapless and thus the movie was effective. Funny thing is the movies in the trilogy successively get less scary and more along the lines of comedy. :)

"Hush little baby, don't say a word. Momma's gonna' buy you a mockingbird...

Ah, great times. Only one more Bruce Campbell movie to go of these three and it's the best one of all. Perhaps this one will still scare Scarah [Scare-ah]. I don't remember what we were talking about when I said that...

This side up ↑

So yesterday I woke up at around noon. Headed over to Vanessa's BBQ after picking up Dill Pickles and Mike. It was raining but good thing Dickie the cook braved it outside. As a thank you for his efforts, Vanessa kneed him in the face. Those free ribs from the Chalet were awesome. Dill pickle chips are awesome.

After that we just watched some TV to kill some time before we picked up Sarah at 5:30. MuchMusic had the "send a text message and see it on TV" thing and Dickie put in "pound it Megan" but to our disappointment [maybe not to Megan] it never appeared.

We headed up to Boston Pizza's Restaurant for Mike's birthday gathering where Sarah, after drinking her classic sexual predator paralyzer, was checking out some 12 year olds. Dickie also brought up quite the interesting conversation between Jeff and Megan. ;)

After that Mike and Poot-Poot went to Schanks and the rest to my house to watch The Evil Dead. A bunch of us had to work early today :P. We can always go to the bar with Mike another time soon for his birthday smash. What a great movie. I forgot all about the whole perverted forest thing lol but nonetheless that movie scared the crap out of Sarah. At one point I seriously thought she was crying on me.

"Weeee're coming to geeet yoooou..."

Indeed we should watch Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness, each in which gets better and better. Less horrifying [for Sarah that is] but even funnier.

"Holy cow! I'm totally going so fa- OH FUCK!"

After the movie we watched the Fensler Film's GI Joe Public Service Announcements., the short animated film, Rejected and a few others.

Today I had to work at bloody 9AM, although I guess that's not as early as a lot of other people. It was only a four hour shift that went by pretty quickly seeing as the store was dead silent for the first two hours. During my 15 minute [paid] break I picked up my paycheck. Turns out today we get our vacation pay that a bunch of us were just talking about yesterday at Vanessa's. Not as much as most people but a decent amount. An even better surprise is that I got a raise. Instead of making $7.09/hour, I make an amazing $7.44/hour. Soon I'll own the store. :P I guess it's better than nothing, and better than the normal 10 cent raises.

I've got nothing to do and I'm feeling bored.

Five Zero Zero

Yay for 500 hits. Hit me baby one more time.

Where the hell did that come from? It's late. I'm just finding any random excuse to post something. It's like talking to no one and someone at the same time. Someone will read this sooner or later. Of course it's all useless rambling but hey, that's how life is sometimes. I'm enjoying a change in life. It's been the same thing over and over and over for the past few months. It's nice to enjoy something different.

I wanna write another emo post but it's just not flowing right now. blah blah blah. Who the hell enjoys reading this? Then again, I enjoy reading other people's blogs. I guess there's a side of people you just don't see all the time expressed in these things. Meh, so here's some random shit. Life's looking up. At the moment I'm kind of thinking two months left in Calgary is going to be short. I'm starting to think I'm going to hate the days I have off work since there's nothing to do. I'm really starting to look forward to applying for that job at Moores. Why do I stay up so friggin' late? My stomach hurts. What the heck am I listening to? I lead a boring life.

"Let's hear about you."

Fuck. What's there to know. I don't have anything interesting to say. I'm a simple guy with a simple life. Work hard in school. Get a good job. Make money. Live a happy life. I guess there's the "meet someone special" in there part. What an adventure that'll be. :P I have no interesting stories. I'm the picture that gets put next to "Boring" in the dictionary. I'm a loss for words when it comes to entertaining stories of myself. Maybe I don't find them entertaining as stories seeing as I lived through them and don't find them anything unusual. Or not. Bluh, I can retell the past few years consisting of doing homework and sleeping [less due to the friggin' homework. It's ironic now that I don't have homework I stay up all night.] with the occasional playing of video games. Fuck, I spent a lot of my life playing video games. Video games are fun and all but they just seem to have lost their appeal. I could kill countless hours in front of this box infact even brushing off my friends to play games. Then semester two of grade twelve came along and bootstomped me into the friggin' curb. I didn't have time to play video games, but then again I did waste a lot of time on MSN [my new addiction]. Now I've just gotten used to not playing games much. TV has lost it's appeal too, I need more interaction. I guess that's why MSN is so nice. I keep in contact with friends [since I don't normally like using the phone] and at the same time it kills time and is most of the time, fun.

I need something to do. I need someone/people to spend time with. Sure, I already have a small handful of friends I spend time with but I don't know... it just doesn't completely fill that void. lol Yeah, I know what I'd want but I'm just a chicken to say it on here. I'm sure some of you know exactly what I'm talking about. Others are thinking, "What the fuck?" It's not like I've grown up in a "touchy-feely" kind of family. In some ways I don't mind it at all, but I'm sure at times it would just be easier if it were.

Two months. That's a long time and yet at the same time too short of a time. I could try filling that void. It would be nice for that time and then two months later it's become nothing. Where would I begin? How will it end? What would happen? Who would be there?

Who knows. I first thought the whole moving out bit would be damn cool. It still is but I just think I'm going to miss where I'm at right now a lot. Sure, what I'm at right now I sometimes think is pure shit but when it comes down to the truth, I have it a whole lot better than most. I'm glad at where I am. I wasn't given some sort of debilitating disease [that I know of], major troubles in school, a giant nose, a personality that people don't enjoy, a shitty family, or even a family that has to struggle with money. Sure I'm a lanky, weak guy but it's better than many of the other options. School isn't hard for the most part and an education is key to success in a life where I don't have the look that makes girls weak in the knees or am able to do amazingly well in a sport. People like me, and I like people. For the most part people enjoy my company, or so I'm led to believe. I haven't had many enemies, or made any by my actions, or so I hope. I'm glad I can get along with people easily. I've got it damned good and occasionally I forget that.

Life, especially your own, can be made to look like shit. Stop. Take a step back and just think. There are people out there in some pretty shitty situations and are still happy with themselves. We all have shitty times and we're all going to think our lives suck every once in awhile. Infact, I wouldn't doubt by tomorrow or even in a few hours I could be thinking just that.

If it's possible to dwell on one thing to make everything else look terrible, is it not possible to focus on one thing and make everything look beautiful? Try it. I sure will. I just have to find that subject first.

I guess this post did turn out pretty emo afterall. I just started typing and it came out like an extra strong dose of Exlax. [I've never had Exlax, I hear it comes in chocolate flavours.]

That was a lot of typing. I'm sure most is rambling, some actual thoughts, some out of pure fatigue. I'll read it sometime, perhaps tomorrow or even a few years from now and think, "What the hell was I talking about." or "Hrm, that makes sense." Maybe even, "What the fuck was I smoking?"

Who knows, there's a piece of my mind most of you wouldn't hear, probably even some I wouldn't tell myself... if that makes sense at all. I'm sure most of you look at this and simply won't read it because of it's length. Whatever. Maybe someone out there will read it and it'll make them think. Either way atleast I had an effect. I don't even know if I intended for this post to have a purpose or meaning. I just did it for the hell of it. Some strange urge.

The sun has risen. Shit. I'm tired, I just don't want to waste precious time. Precious time for what, I do not know. I guess I just would rather experience live conciously than miss most of it while I'm asleep. Then again, sleep can be a whole other reality, a reality that you might not be able to experience. But there can be the disappointment of waking up and realizing that none of it was real.

Sometimes I wonder what the purpose of dreams are. What are the meanings to them? I know there are books and articles on the meaning of dreams, but whoever wrote them aren't you and aren't having your dreams or living your life. How does something affect your dreams? To what extent do you control dreams? To what extent do your dreams control you?

If I don't stop typing - What? You know, I don't think there is a consequence to that. I mean, all that really happens is a handful of people read more ramblings from my mind. Hell, if you've read this much I guess it must be interesting or entertaining. Maybe you think I'm crazy or weird. I like being weird, it's better than being normal. What exactly is normal though... Hrm, maybe I am normal and I just wish I was weird. How about that thinking you're just a bit more special than most? I like to think that. It sounds conceited - but I guess it is. Realization that you're not can be shitty but it puts things into a new perspective. It could change things. Better or worse... Change is nice.

Life is full of change. Sometimes you don't notice. I think this is already along the lines of what I was talking about before. I'll stop there.

This is like mental diarrhea. The shit just doesn't stop. What is that? The third time I said I'd stop typing? These fingers have a mind of their own. I know my brain is saying, "Don't type that. That doesn't make any sense. You shouldn't be saying that. Stop." but the fingers keep tapping. Tap, tap, tap. Like a leaky faucet there are times when what's inside just seeps out, and when it does, it keeps going and going. Sometimes someone comes along and helps you out. Sometimes you just keep leaking.

What the fuck. Okay, I really need to stop. Now I'm just "talking" to myself. Perhaps I shall just post this, let people read it, see if it gets a reaction, read it myself, and then check myself into the looney bin. haha. Whatever, I'm sane and I like it.

Self appreciation... Appreciation of others... That's a whole 'nother subject. Perhaps I will "ooze" about that some other time.

I wonder how many words this is.

STOP.

Rekindling

My first day off for this week. What a bore.

I pretty much just slept, woke up for a few hours and then slept again.

Just another day on MSN and I randomly decided to check out who was online in the group of people I never see online. Amazingly there was one. I always saw her name change but never actually saw her online until now. I decided to say something to see if maybe she'd respond or even care who I was anymore. Two years had gone by since we pretty much lost contact with each other. Even so, when we did see each other two years ago going into Highschool, it wasn't much of a meeting and we kinda just drifted apart. Surprisingly we talked a bit and she wanted me to come to Tim Horton's for some coffee.

I'm glad I agreed to go. For one it was something to break me from the deathgrip of boredom and second, she was always a great girl that I never got to know very well. She still is a great girl. Some surprising stories but nonetheless the same Jo I remember. We, including Justin, talked about simple matters in life like school, people we know, etc. I had a fun time and hopefully some more fun times later on.

I'll post this for now so Jo can read it before she falls asleep. ;)

[the update]
Jo, it wasn't mainly me. You initiated the whole meeting together for coffee. Knowing me I probably wouldn't have suggested it since I still have that shy guy you remember inside of me. I'm also glad tonight happened. In fact it made the previous long and boring hours all worth it. If I wasn't stuck at home doing nothing I probably wouldn't have seen you online. I guess also thanks to one of your friends for making you check that email account. :)

I hope that I don't do to you what everyone else has already done.

On a lighter note, Timmy Ho's seems to be the hip and happenin' place to be. People we knew seemed to just keep pouring in. I saw Megan, Hannah, Brittany B, Kat, Irvil(sp), Jordan, Laura, Import[Leroy], Jay K, and... I think that's it. Iced Cappuccino's... damn. Hadn't had one of those since grade 7 or so. yum yum. Also, talking to Jo about jobs, Moore's is sounding like a sweet job. Of course I'll need to update my resume, hand one in, get an interview, get training, somehow work out a schedule between two jobs, etc. Although I think I'd actually have some fun at this job instead. I mean, suits, dress shirts, ties, etc., what's not to like? Plus I would be working with Jo *yay* which would make working a lot more fun and we'd get to know each other better. What a sweet job it sounds like. 41 cents higher pay [although I don't know if that's what you start at], a smaller more closely-knit atmosphere, and awesome benefits. Most of the people that were atleast fun to work with have all quit along with Jocelyn who I never see anymore :P [and now she's in Germany until the 10th of August.]

Hrm, I'm mostly worried about balancing both jobs and not knowing how the work will be like if I did get that job... I guess I can always try, I mean, the job sounds way better.

Also, Happy 18th to Mike W. We still don't know what we're gonna do for your birthday.

Hrm... I don't know what else to say anymore. I thought I had a lot to say but I guess I can't just get it out. In a ways I'd like to write [type] anything and everything down but I guess there are still things that I'd rather keep to myself.

Ah, great night. I'm at a loss for more to say so I'll end this here. I'm off to read some blogs.

Happy [insert event]

Happy Birthday to Brittany M [yesterday]
and Happy Hangovers to everyone else.

After a good seven hours of work [took an extra two] I went home, fell asleep and was kinda late getting to Schanks for Britt's birthday. I didn't know where all my friends disappeared to so I just drove down. Turns out Kevin F, Justin K, Alex M, and Rob W were all "pre-birthdaying". Fuck, Kevin, I don't think I have ever seen someone so drunk. He was saying random shit, yelling stuff no one could understand, he even talked to some of the parents for five minutes.

So Justin and I were going to go to the Chalet and try and get some free food. Turns out just as I pulled out of the Schanks parking lot, some crazy deranged girl runs up to my car. Turns out it was only Sarah C and that her, Vedz, Dickie, and Mac [Jeff. haha] were all going to go see Fahrenheit 9/11. Justin hadn't seen it so I dropped him off and I headed back to Schanks.

In that less than five minutes of leaving Schanks, we lots Kevin F. He was nowhere to be found, except in the second stall of the upstairs bathroom. What a pretty site that was. Once you open the door you could feel the thick, damp air hit your nostrils with sweetness almost of fruit.

It was puke. Well, and air freshener.

As you step over the puke by the entrance and made your way past the auto paper dispensers you came across the puke that was spread out under the stalls and onto the main attraction: Kevin with his head in the toilet. We got him water, which he threw right up a few minutes after drinking enough, paper towels, and kept him from passing out. Finally Mark the doorman and a bouncer came and helped him out of the bathroom, down the stairs, and outside. Rob and I cleaned him up, threw him in the car and dropped him off at his house with his brother, Jason.

Back to Schanks where we met with Menzies but we all had to leave because they were closing early. Most of us went to Boston Pizza's lounge. After that was pretty much chill out time. I got to know some people some more, heard some interesting stories.

Anyway, so the results of last week's poll, So far, how would you say your Summer has been going? have been interesting. Most, but not by much, of you have been enjoying your summer.

F$!K YEAH! took the lead with 5 votes followed by
I'd have more fun at school. with 4.
Pretty damn great. had 3 votes,
Bleh... had 2, and
I'm liking it. and I'd have more fun throwing feces. was tied with 2.
None of the sixteen votes were on the fence with Same ol'

This week's poll will be, Do you have a summer job?

Hoogablah

Yeah, couldn't think of a title.

Here's another link to another blog. Alexandra Der
She's got a nice style of writing. :)


Anyway, in other news...
Got back from Edmonton yesterday at around 2:30AM, a little later than we originally thought. It was a beautiful ride to Edmonton. The clouds were the lowest I had ever seen and we were pretty much driving right through them. Everything was so pristine and calm looking. Amazing. Of course I fell asleep near the last hundred kilometers seeing as I had about two hours of sleep.

At the reception, I only knew the groom's immediate family so it was a little awkward not being able to really converse with anyone else. The newlywed games were funny and the food was pretty good.

We spent a few hours at West Edmonton Mall just wandering the lower floor. EQ3 is the coolest furniture store, too bad I don't have a ton of money... or a place of my own. The Bose store was cool too. They even had their own fifteen seat theatre in the back with an amazing sound system. I could go for one of those but once again, not enough money and no place of my own. lol.

We headed back through the worst designed roads ever to the ugliest hotel I have ever seen (from the outside), the Delta. (It's purple and peach coloured with a little bit of green.) Turns out our, meaning my brothers and I's, seats were missing so we were placed at the ends of the tables at the back. It was alright, Ian and I were atleast together and with a family our family knows. Supposedly their kids and us played together when we were little. Of course none of us remembers. The toasts and speeches were funny and touching. I didn't expect to laugh so hard at a wedding.

Today I went to work. It was better than usual, no lame supervisors and there were co-workers that were enjoyable to be around. Oddly enough, there were a lack of jackass customers.

Anyway, I don't feel like writing so this is as long as it'll be. I could have gone into more detail but... bleh.

So we part our ways...

Goodbye! I'll miss you! I don't know what I'll do without you!

Of course I'm talking about MSN. Shit. Tomorrow will be the longest I'll be seperated from my MSN in ages haha.

Anyway, I've got to get up in about 3 or 4 hours to head off to Edmonton. That's going to be a boring six hours of driving. I've made myself a new MD so hopefully that'll kill some time, although I suppose I'll be sleeping half the way. Shit, that's gonna be a crowded car. All five of us haven't crammed into the car for a road trip in ages. I wonder what else I can do to make time fly faster...

This'll be fun, I hope. I haven't been to a wedding in years. Weddings are fun stuff. It's too bad Steve P's birthday is tomorrow and they're going to Tequila. Also Justin K is related to a girl that knows a guy that owns a place. That place is The Whiskey! and can get us on the VIP list. Shrug, he might move it to Wednesday, for Mike W's birthday.

Anyway, I just realised I didn't finish this blog and it's now like, 2:22 AM so... yeah. If I'm not on MSN tomorrow, it doesn't mean I'm dead. But hey, I'll try and stay on MSN while I'm about 350KM from the computer. haha

Later all. Leave a message on my MSN if you'd like. MSN is my answering machine. I'll be back around midnight so if anyone has anything planned leave it on my MSN, I'm sure I'll be glad to get out. Also I start working a lot more now, so less mid-day doing stuff...

Once again, later. (I just don't shut up.)

It's off to work we go...

Went into work today. They finally changed my hours so that I get more than four per week. It's nice but I still only get around 16 - 17 hours everyday but two days of the week. Stupid short shifts. Oh well, atleast they gave me shifts, comparably to the 200+ other employees that can easily take my shifts. Luckily I got the 10th off so I can go on Michelle I's pubcrawl! My other day off is the 7th, which is Mike W's 18th also.

"I love the rain, it's long hard and wet.

haha. I said that in PMAT 20 and Kerrie reminded me in my yearbook. While I was working the clouds opened up and threw a wall of water down on us. It was bloody amazing. I just wish I was outside at the time. By the time I got off work it was no fun. Just a bunch of big puddles and no rain at all.

I'm off to Edmonton tomorrow morning for a family friend's son's wedding. I might post once more before I leave.

Later.

Hello!

Interesting. Hello to whoever in Pakistan and Iran that checked out my blog.:D
Hope you found your stay enjoyable.

Void

Hiding seems to be my best defence. Actions can be easy to make but hard to live with; but it's that chance. That chance I rarely seem to take, and when I do, that's it. No revelation occurs, no fireworks inside (I saw some fireworks today lol). It's not worth it now. I know what it is. Even so, there's no one substance that fills the void. But then again, hiding seems to be my best defence.

There's a lot to be said for self-delusionment when it comes to matters of the heart. - Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider

Went to Crowfoot Crossing to see Shrek 2 with Jeff M, Vedz ;), Megan F, and Sarah C around 5pm. Ah, that movie was great. After that pretty much just headed home for a bit where Sarah and Vanessa dropped by after. We kind of just sat around for about two hours talking with some oogling over my dad's Tungsten T3. We headed to Swiss Chalet to meet up with Dickie and Jeff and then we headed to Mike W's to watch the Canada Day fireworks at COP. Sarah had to leave right after since she's leaving town for a few days. We pretty much just played some pool, sat around, the usual. Once again just Jeff and I hanging with Mike after until 5 am.

I'm looking forward to moving to Waterloo. It'll be interesting living on my own and pretty much starting a new life. I don't have any urge to get away really, it'll just be interesting and new.

*Shrug*

Hollow

It's late, I'm tired, and I'm bored.

I have some strange feeling like I'm missing out on something. Or maybe there's something missing in life. There should be something I normally do or feel, but it's not there. Am I choosing to avoid it? Sub-consciously? Maybe it's avoiding me. Maybe it's what's happening around me. What is it that fills this hollow shell? What is it that I need? What is it that I want?

Something needs to be done. Something needs to happen.

The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next. - Ursula K. LeGuin

I'm a Canadian.

Thankfully. Happy Canada Day, and on that note...

I just saw Fahrenheit 9/11 at Westhills Silvercity with Dickie and Kevin F. It's got a 14A rating which if it were possible should be made around 16. heh. Unless of course the inside of someone's arm and people beating up the bodies of burning American soldiers is something you think every 14 year-old should see. Overall, it was pretty good. I mean sure it's all Michael Moore's personal opinion but it's well put.

It's the kind of movie that makes you glad you're not an American. If I were American I don't think I'd see that movie. Fitting for Canada Day.

In other news...
There is no other news. Uhm...
Jeff's a chickenshit?